Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Randomize
