so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
