Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
