I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
