one two three fourrrrnication!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
