i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
