The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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