Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
