is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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