don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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