I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
