so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
