all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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