I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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