Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Your dad touched me again.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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