there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
