What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
