So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We are two peas in an std pod
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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