just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
People in love make me want to vomit
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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