I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize