Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
