Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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