I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize