weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
