At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
