Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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