Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize