That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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