I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
