Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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