The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
