i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize
