saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize