Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Non-Jews are for practice
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
