i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
