So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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