I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
