Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
