If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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