At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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