She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
