you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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