marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
