I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm sobbing to NWA
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize