Banned from zoo.
Again?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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