drinking out of a sandbucket again
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
