i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
try to milk me bitch
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