What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
