i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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