I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
