Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you would pick up someone in the library
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
