So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Randomize
