Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
