omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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